for a couple of months now i have been completely fatigued, i mean realy no energy to do anything; its okay, to wash my windows, clean te kitchen or the toilet; kook some dinner, but otherwise i don’t get anyting done, when i try to organize, or actualy do something, i get verry edgy, i get anxiety-attacks, and even worse than that- it seems i realy have enough to handle right now, in fact: too much!!
i thought it might be a burn out, but my coach says, in my situation (my diagnosis) it is very common to be overstressed and overwhealmed at some point….comes and goes, something you have to deal with, your coach can help you get things done, make plans…
now for quite some time i was on three datingsites- not looking for quick seks or a relationship; just looking for nice (female) contacts, and possible friends; but i can’t seem to find the energy anymore, to open up yet another chat, so unfortunatly i have a paid contract with one of those sites, but in a few weeks i think i will take my loss and delete this, and all my other (dating)- accounts; i did notify my contacts about my situation…
now for years on end, i have been running, to get things done for other people; but this “thing” (burn out?) reminds me to start renewing my energy; not pouring it down hopeless pitts anymore, for one thing! it is time for some ME-time!! i wus no where around on my own charts, i neglected my own stuff, to do things for others; this has to end… i can’t cope with it any longer!! of course i like to help out- but then, just help out, not carrying your cross, AND my own!
nowadays i am rapidly losing friends; i seem to have lost patience for a lot of things… but lately people seem more and more like trains, (though i keep an ongoing effort) and for every bad one that leaves a better one comes in… it is worrying sometimes, and it might even hurt, but it is for the better… i might even like this… (ah well, somtimes somebody doesn’t fit, or doesn’t fit anymore…) it is a struggle, but i am getting to grips with it…
when i think about it, this was al i wanted to say, for now, but i have some more thoughts assembling; i might write a post about, what it was like, and what it did for me to stop drinking (nowadays; two years later, i drink or have drank occasionaly; i would like to learn something about coffee, thea, wine, beer; though i also like a glas of (tap) water, and too much is too much, i don’t want that anymore (seems i am too sensitive for that!!))
i might write a post on how i am doing in my world; advertising myself; advertising others; where i am at with my attempts to create something, that is worth watching, hearing, or reading (seeing) at least to myself…
ah well, quite a post… that’s all for now; hope all is well with you! this is Reepke signing off…
greetings,
love,
peter
(reepke(n) )