Tag: mental health

one year…

it has been more than one year since i stopped taking in alcoholics (alcoholic beverages) i might have sinned, once or twice; five months ago i drank a couple ( 4-5) of beers, and two months later i had two glasses (“to the brim” ) with Southern comfort (wich was really nice, but also not verry nescessary; i mean, there was no need for it…) otherwise i haven’t had a drop of alcohol, since 29 novermber 2017… and my body is still changing, from not having alcohol; it seems my muscles are realy develloping now (my legs, mostly); it does concern me that nowadays i am gaining weight; i had some energy issues, but now i am slowly growing fat… that wasn’t the plan, ghegheghe…. i have been trying to keep a good balance, but i might need help with that; but then i should be a little more active, with me, it is not what goes in, but what comes out is too little, i have lots of excuses for that, but it is not cool… i need to step it up a little- having said that, it wouldn’t be ok to force it too much, i have come a long way; but… i might need some help…. actually i wasn’t thinking i would be able to do what needs to be done, all by myself, so i am ok with asking a professional…

so, i did it… almost one year completely sober….i think i will continue with my efforts, next year i mean, not drinking alcoholics, try to use even less sugar (compared to what i do now…) and thoug it is hard, and it costs a lot more money, i will try to keep on doing the ecological thing, also eating biological, and keep eating veggy food as much as my body and head allow me too…

for those out there reading my blogs; thanks for being around! hope i haven’t put anybody serious in my spam-folder; if i did, i am sorry, those spammers are getting too clever, sometimes it takes me awhile to figure them out! i do like mail, especialy from people like myself, kindered-spirits i mean, though i might not use the correct word…

ah, well, that’s all for now, thanks for being around! leaving my habbits and getting a grip on myself was quite an effort, but it was worth it!! of course there is no cure for my diagnosis (schitzotypical) but life is getting a lot better lately…

thanks xxx

peter

sorry i been so long…

i been fucked up for awhile, in fact, still am; it has been hard; nowadays i realy stopped drinking too; sober for five weeks now; body is picking up again; though it’s a shame, i had to; two beers in a week was still too much for my body to handle, so i thought; ahhh fuck it; and; what the hell; so i stopped, and i haven’t realy regretted it; what’s wrong with an occasional beer, you say, well, nothing realy, and i do miss it, but my body couldn’t handle anymore…couldn’t ignore the loudening protest from my stomach, my spleen, and my liver (lets not forget; my kidneys too!!)

mourning the death of a friend… wondering why I lived… (and getting stronger too) (maybe i wus just in time, to take things in hand…) this is a kick in the butt…

ah, well

trying to shoot a picture of my cat, not a all content with the last pictures i shot… i am getting more demanding… want to do something with light; and now retouching some pictures is an option too- i guess i am growing…

cat is lying here beside me, on the desk; he’s a fine specimen; so fluffy; and soooo lovable; he’s got the sweetest character…hey Bobbeltje (like the name Bob; but also “lump”) (ghegheghe) can you read this? … oh, he’s gone now…

for some time, i realy felt my hart hurting and thumping pain with every beat, but i finaly got a grip on myself again; set stress on a side-track for awhile, simple excorcise, lots of spirulina (sea-weed-pils (or powder) verry good for lot’s of things; i take them mostly, becouse my family has a history in cardiac-disease, and i have bad knees (yes it helps both and in addition helps my bowels too), a few special herbs… and lots of rest (no more drinking, smoking; whatever…), if i can do it the flex way, working on my site is actualy healing; it is nice, relaxed, and good therapy…and i am feeling better again! have to watch out, you know, those anti-psychotic-pils are a risk, of course…

i see my scanner has completed it’s mission to keep my browsing safe…(gehgeh) have to look in to that now… so, i’ll be seeing you…

 

lots of love…

peter

soooo tired

i wus advertising a lot; not that it did help, or do much good, and working hard to get my pages going; i did do a friends page aswell ( and a few others too) and now i am soooooo freaking tired- i only want the simple things; hanging round, posting something, taking a picture, writing a poem… but what i am doing now is hard work! have to keep myself informed; checking this and that; asking people for atention, for a view, socialising, networking, bookkeeping, taking wins & losses, at the same time getting myself to create something again; music, paint, photo; etc… friends asking; what are you doing? (bit anoying) working hard on myself; trying to get more work done and getting more stable at the same time; this realy fucks me up; i have had enough now…

i will keep to my plan; hey i am doing the best i can! after all i am only human too… and i have a lot of off-days! if nescessary i will break myself free….  i will claim my life again; this is my life; my goals, what i want to do, and what i can do; i am no superman… it is supposed to work for me, not against me!

ah well, a few successes; somewhere around 1900 folowers; that’s nice; close to 100 visitors dayly on reepke.com and my other sites and blogs doing well enough… not even close to this one, but i never intented them to be…

now for a few weeks of rest and working out; i want to amuse myself wiht my posts; this has got to be; otherwise the effort is realy too much…

thinking; when did i start this crazy train? i wus getting better, years and years ago; and i wanted more and more; and i won a lot, lost a couple; must have been almost 30 years ago; far i have come! but now i am hitting a brick wall; not much to winn anymore; at least not on short term… as i have said before; now i will have to accept what i can’t change…

still i might be the happiest person on earth (or i should say might become; i am still working on it; though happyness isn’t a goal by itself, to me…) i have known hard times; and i got through, i even won eventualy…

this is how messed up i am; i posted this as a page; gheghegheghe; ah well, i fixed it; now as for tags; lets see….

 

peter

update: best advertising i ever had was advertising myself, with postcards on flyerpaper, presenting myself and my art, while engaging in (mostly) interesting conversations….

sports & stuff

i had hoped to be able to take less medicine by now, but i tried as hard as i could, and i can’t, there’s too much stressing in my life, bummer!!! i am working out something for renting a place of my own; still advertising, still clearing up the mess, still working hard to be ready… this takes up all the energy i have… still i am trying to lose weight, build up muscles, and stamina; as it is i am not very strong, very easily out of breath…

so i am pumping iron again, riding my bike, taking walks etc… finaly i am beginning to feel better about myself; from time to time i find myself smiling, for no reason…

also i am working on my sites, reading books (clearing up the mess) figuring out what is absolutely nescesarry an what has to go… i realy want to keep the good study material up, i have a lot of books on social behavior, that i realy want to study, because social behavior isn’t my strongest point….(at all 🙂 )

things seem to be working out, for now, lets hope it stays that way…

i am develloping a lot of things on my creative side, wich you will hear/see, in the nearby future, but for now, housing takes up my every breath…

that’s all for now,

c ya soon